Wind Waker time. Let’s go
Dance Like a Beautifly, Sting Like a Beedrill
A friend commissioned this from me. You can pay me to draw stuff too if you were so inclined!
It’s a parody of photos of the match between Muhammad Ali (where Ledian is) and Sonny Liston (where Hitmonchan is).
I generally don’t think that food needs to be complicated and have a million ingredients. Four-cheese pizza can go straight to hell, all you need is mozzarella.
But I’ve had a lot of time to try new stuff with guacamole and have come up with something I really really like.
Ingredients:
2 avocados
onion–any color will do (except green I guess)
jalapeño–I like to use fresh but pickled isn’t too bad either. Go lighter on the vinegar if you use pickled.
1 clove garlic–I’m using 2 here because I love garlic that much and one of these is tiny.
2 tbsp pureed sundried tomato–this spread I use is basically that plus other ingredients already going into the guac, plus sugar. Consider a dash of sugar if you finish and it’s missing a little something
2 tsp vinegar
sea salt–kosher salt is chunkier and is better for seasoning meat, but in a pinch it would work. There’s nothing really wrong with table salt either.
Pepper
Avocado oil–other cooking oils would do fine, really, I just like using avocado oil because it’s going into more avocados
Cayenne pepper (not pictured, oops. This stuff is basically pure spiciness but makes for like a dull, steady burn as opposed to a pepper seed’s sharp, excruciating one.
Chop up the onions. This is just about exactly how much I want for two avocados.
I’m not using this entire jalapeño. That would be insane.
I’m also throwing out the seeds. Caramelized jalapeño has a savory flavor and that’s what I want, the seeds kinda just stay hot.
Heat a pan over medium-low for about a minute
And spill a little oil in it. Let it warm up for a few seconds
Onions and jalapeños go in now.
Stir ’em around and get them covered in the oil. You’re gonna let them sit over a low heat but being covered in the hot oil will cook them more evenly. From here on out, mix them periodically, but don’t make stir-fry. They can sit and are supposed to shrivel up and get brown.
While that’s going, now would be a fine time to peel the garlic. If you lay something broad and flat over the clove like a big knife or a spatula and bring your fist down onto it, the peel will come right off.
You COULD mince the garlic, but I’ll tell you something: I never ever ever mince garlic. It’s a big waste of time. I always just press it. I’ll use a knife to cut the stringy garlic off as it exits the press bit by bit to get them into little chunks and simulate mincing, but using a knife to cut it that way? Eh. I like how the juice releases by doing it this way, too.
Scoop the avocado out of the skin and into a bowl. You can mash it up now or any time after this–I’d recommend doing that and taste-testing it periodically to make sure you like what you’re doing with it rather than having it be a surprise at the end. You can always add more of something if there isn’t enough.
Sundried tomato and vinegar in there. For a milder flavor you’ll want to use less of those, definitely feel free to put in 1 tbsp tomato and 1 tsp vinegar until the end and see how you like that, then decide if you want 2 and 2.
Salt!
Pepper!
Cayenne! This is kind of a lot of cayenne but I like spicy food.
When the onions and jalapeños are softer and browner, it’s time for the aforementioned faux-garlic-mincing technique mentioned above. Don’t cook the garlic nearly as long–it burns quickly. You just want to roast them a bit.
Roast roast
dump
And mix.
Of course like I said, it doesn’t have to be complicated to be good guacamole. Avocado, salt, pepper, and garlic powder alone could do the job. Just felt like sharing this because there aren’t many things I actually have my own recipes for. Mostly just this and pad thai.
Or Black Mesa Source. On Steam. I dunno if there’s been an update to Black Mesa that includes one but mine was blank so I made one myself. It’s not really much of anything but I guess if someone were googling one that already exists, it would help them for one to be there
Which comes out looking like this