SMAAAASH!!

I was going to the movies with my friends. We got in the car and drove to the theater. It was at the bottom of a pit that looked like it could have been a crater. We got there early so we went to the nearby preschool yard to kill time. But not before watching the preview for the live action, CGI-free Invader Zim/Professor Layton crossover movie.

I got a text from my dog saying she’d be there shortly, so I parked myself on a little bench to wait for her. There were gnats, so I swatted them away, killing one. Muff appeared and hopped onto my lap.

Then an attractive, but distant-looking, woman about my age came by. She started looking under things, opening drawers, overturning pots, searching for something.

“What are you looking for,” I asked
“My pet gnat,” she replied. Her tone was the kind that could kill, and she spoke as clearly as you could imagine… but I must have misheard her.

“Sorry, what?”
“I’m looking for my pet gnat. Have you seen her?”
I kept a straight face and acted like this wasn’t stupid. I must have looked very apathetic, though.

“You don’t like gnats… do you.” She started to sound wrathful.
“They’re not my favorite.” I stayed strong and didn’t submit.
“Then what is your favorite?”
“I like frogs. They’re neat.”

“…Oh, I see.”

She left for a minute and came back with a rusty box.

“You know, frogs eat gnats, sometimes,” she said. She opened the box and took out what looked like dental rods wired up to a car battery via jumper cables.
“There’s something that can be done here, to make me feel better…”

Part of me wanted to say, “I’m not a frog and I didn’t eat your gnat,” but something told me she had something much worse in mind for humans who squish them.
Part of me wanted to say, “This is a joke, right?” Because it was still completely stupid.
And part of me wanted to say, “Here? Now? In front of all these little kids?” I was guilty of killing her gnat, after all.

But I missed the climax because I woke up.