I am Maxwell and this is my actiony life story.
I lived in this place, one of many loyal subjects of a certain monarch.
The other loyal subjects and I, we gave the King Boss a lot of presents and potatoes and stuff. Most of them, because he was a pretty nice king, and a pretty nice boss.
I wanted those.
So I pretended to be his faithful right-hand lackey.
Don't get me wrong--King Boss was a really cool guy and very nice.
But it was my destiny to get those Legendary Shades.
These guys told me that.
Tired Confused Potion in hand, I spent many nights in my secret aboveground lair plotting to steal them.
If at all possible I wanted to avoid killing King Boss.
But he didn't remove them while sleeping...
He didn't remove them while indoors... (picture unrelated)
And he didn't remove them while at the optometrist's office.
And if I killed him, everyone would know it was me. So clearly I had only one option...
I had to make it look like an accident.
Or, actually, I could hire an assassin. I took that route.
So there I was... finally at the denoument of destiny's direction...
Until a goblin swooped in and stole the Legendary Shades for himself!
Good thing I had my revolver.